Nightmares of the Soul
by Silent Sky
Summary: Kagome wants to understand Inuyasha. But in an attempt to find that understanding, she is plunged into a horror beyond her imagining, an eternal night full of pain and darkness. Can she survive the nightmare without losing the one she loves? COMPLETE
1. Enter the Darkness

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.

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This story is dedicated to my wonderful, talented, awesome editor, Sue Sue Magoo. Thank you for all your help!

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Enter the Darkness

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"Come on, Inuyasha!" Kagome said furiously.

"Keh! Forget it!"

Kagome watched, grinding her teeth, as the hanyou shot to his feet and leaped into a nearby tree. Why did he have to be so stubborn!

The group was once again camping out in a forest for the night in their search for jewel shards. They hadn't been having any luck lately in their search, and the whole group had been feeling downcast. Miroku, in an attempt to cheer them up, had launched into an entertaining story about his childhood. For the rest of the evening, they had all swapped fun stories of their early days, reminiscing about times past and people gone, but enjoying themselves nonetheless.

Inuyasha, however, had refused to participate. He had sat outside the circle of the light from the fire, leaning against the trunk of a tree, his face in shadow. He hadn't commented, hadn't laughed even once, and he had not told them a single story about himself. He'd flat out refused to have a thing to do with them.

Kagome didn't understand. The hanyou was notoriously reticent, but that didn't mean he couldn't listen to their stories, or at least sit near them. But the stubborn hanyou insisted on sitting by himself, doing nothing but pout in the dark.

"Inuyasha! There's no harm in telling us _one_ story!" Kagome yelled at him as he disappeared into the shadows of the thick branches of the sprawling tree. "At least come down!"

"Forget it!" Inuyasha spat from his dark hideout. "I ain't coming down and you can't make me!"

Kagome briefly considered showing him just how wrong he was about that.

Miroku, who sat by the fire beside Sango, shook his head. "Just leave him alone, Kagome. When he gets in one of his moods, there's no reasoning with him."

A loud snort came from the direction Inuyasha had disappeared. Kagome wanted to scream in frustration. Why couldn't Inuyasha ever just cooperate? Why did he have to be so stubbornly mysterious about his past? Did he think they would think less of him if he told them some childhood stories? Did he see it as a weakness?

She sighed in resignation. "All right, Inuyasha," she called, "you don't have to tell a story. Just come back."

There was a slight pause. "No way, wench!" came the snarly reply. "Just leave me alone!"

"Inuyasha," she screamed in the hanyou's general direction, "you are such a jerk!" Stooping, she grabbed her bow and arrows. "I'm going for a walk." She snapped at the others, who were staring at her in shock, not brave enough to argue with her.

Kagome stomped off into the dark forest, following a game trail. It wasn't so much that Inuyasha wouldn't share stories with them. That didn't upset her, she knew it wasn't really in his nature to be open like that. What angered her so much was that he was always distancing himself from her, always running away every time they started to get closer. He kept rebuilding the wall between them every time she got a little closer getting past it. She wanted him to open up to her, to trust her. But he was always backing away, always keeping his distance from her. Why did he do it? What was he afraid of?

She stomped through the trees, anger and frustration twisting inside her. It wasn't fair. All she wanted to do was get closer to him, and he kept pushing her away.

Kagome suddenly jerked to a stop. She could sense . . . something. A strange presence. She hesitated, wondering what to do. It didn't feel like a demon . . .

She slowly began to make her way towards the strange presence. She couldn't resist. It felt like it was calling her, drawing her towards it. She walked through the trees, peering ahead into the shadows and darkness.

Pushing a branch out of her way, she gasped as her eyes fell on the small shrine nestled in the trees at the edge of a small clearing. Simple and rustic, the shrine had an air of peace about it. Kagome moved to stand in the center of the clearing, staring at the shrine. The unfamiliar presence tugged at her, pulling her towards the door of the temple. She gave in to the pull and walked forwards.

Pushing open the doors, she peered into the dim interior of the shrine. It looked like a regular shrine to her. She stepped inside, looking around. It appeared to be empty. The tugging stopped, but Kagome could still feel the presence nearby. But the shrine was empty . . .

"Welcome, child."

Kagome whirled towards the sound of the raspy voice.

An old woman materialized out of the shadows. Kagome gasped, stepping back. The wizened old woman wore the robes of a priestess, her face wrinkled, her long hair grey. But it was the woman's eyes that made a shiver run down Kagome's spine. Her eyes were pure white. No pupils or irises. Just pure, unnerving white.

The old woman took a step forward. "Yer heart be filled with anger and pain, young one." The priestess croaked, her voice sounding as old as she appeared.

Kagome stepped to the side, inching towards the door, berating herself for her foolishness. She was in over her head. The woman's blank eyes followed her as she moved, even though Kagome was sure the woman was blind.

"Ye seek answers, child," the old woman said softly, "about the one ye love, do ye not?"

Kagome stopped in mid-step. "What do you know about me?" she demanded.

"I know that ye are pained by the one ye love, that ye wish to see into his heart, into his soul."

Kagome's heart pounded. What did this old woman know about Inuyasha? "What are you talking about?"

"The one yer heart seeks be out of yer reach, child."

Kagome gasped. "What do _you_ know?" she challenged angrily, refusing to believe what this priestess was telling her.

"How be it that ye think ye can love someone ye will never understand?"

"I understand Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, upset by the woman's words. How dare she tell her these things! The woman didn't know anything about her and Inuyasha!

"But ye have asked him for something he cannot give ye, have ye not? And ye cause the both of ye pain by yer asking, nay?"

Kagome's breath hitched. "What?"

"This night, child, what did ye ask of him this night?"

Kagome's eyes widened as she realized what the old woman was talking about. "Why should I tell you?" She snapped, her mind racing.

"Ye wish to love him, do ye not?" She paused, considering, her white eyes gazing at Kagome unblinkingly. "Then I can help ye in that, if yer heart be willing and yer soul be strong."

Kagome stared at the old woman, thinking. Was it a trap? Naraku's deceptions came in all shapes and sizes . . . but this woman did not appear to be a threat.

"How can you help me?" she asked cautiously.

"What did ye ask of him this night?"

"I . . . I asked him to tell me about his past." Kagome answered reluctantly.

"And why, child, did ye ask this of him?"

Kagome thought about this. "Because I wanted to know everything about him. I want to understand him better."

"Ye can never understand him, child. Ye can never know the pain in his heart, the nightmares of his soul."

Kagome opened her mouth to deny it, but the old woman raised her gnarled hand, silencing Kagome's protest.

"And how, child, can ye truly love what ye do not understand?"

"I can love him!" Kagome said angrily, desperately, "I can understand!"

"Can ye?" the old woman asked softly. "Can ye be sure, child?"

Kagome stared, not knowing how to respond.

"And even so, young one, understanding and accepting are two very different things, are they not?"

Kagome nodded, confused and afraid. "What are you saying?"

"Ye wish to love him? He be the one yer heart desires, I can see it."

"Yes." Kagome said softly, admitting the truth aloud for the first time. "I love him."

"To love, ye must understand, and ye must accept. Do ye believe ye can do this, child?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in her answer.

"Come."

The old woman moved slowly towards the back of the shrine, Kagome followed hesitantly. Stopping at the back wall, the old woman moved behind a low table. She slowly sat, crossing her legs, and gesturing for Kagome to sit across the small table from her.

Sitting down, Kagome watched the old woman. She reached behind her with one gnarled hand and picked up a square box about two hand-lengths in width. Placing the box on the table between them, the old woman removed the sutras sealing the box. Pulling off the lid, she slowly drew out a circular object with a cloth draped over it. She placed the object in the round indentation in the box lid to keep it from rolling away. Putting the rest of the box back where she had gotten it from, the old woman finally turned her white eyes to gaze at Kagome.

"How be it that one gains understanding, child?"

Kagome frowned thoughtfully. "By learning."

"And how be it that one learns?"

". . . Experience?"

"Exactly. Only through experience can one understand. And that, child, be yer difficulty. How can ye understand the one ye love when ye have never experienced what he has?"

Kagome frowned. "I haven't experienced what he has, but if he told me, then I would be able to at least partially understand."

"Nay, child. Some pain ye can never understand through words. But neither can ye experience the same as him, can ye?"

". . . No."

"Nay." The old woman agreed. "Child, can ye accept what is in his heart, what is in his soul? Can ye face it? Do ye have the strength to fight through the pain and shadows to reach the beauty underneath?"

Kagome opened her mouth to reply, but the old woman cut her off, her white eyes boring into Kagome's.

"Think well before ye speak, child. Ye must be certain. Yer heart must be certain."

Kagome closed her eyes, thinking. Could she? Could she face what Inuyasha had faced in his life? Could she do it too? The image of Inuyasha's face flashed in her mind, and she knew she could. She could for him.

"Yes."

A smile ghosted across the old woman's wrinkled lips. "Then so be it."

Kagome frowned, wondering what that meant. The old woman suddenly leaned forward, snapping out a hand and plucking something off the front of Kagome's shirt.

Kagome stared in surprise at the silver hair clutched in the woman's bent fingers. Inuyasha's hair. It must have stuck to her clothes from the last time Inuyasha had carried her on his back.

The old woman held the hair up as she pulled the cloth off the object. Kagome stared at the black orb. It looked like a crystal ball, but it was so black it seemed to suck in the light. Darkness swirled in its ebony depths, dancing shadows swirling in a mesmerizing maelstrom.

"Only with understanding can come acceptance, and only with acceptance can come love." The old woman whispered as the hair in her fingers began to glow.

"_Shards of dreams, blades of pain . . ._" the priestess chanted. "_Take your daughter into the nightmares of the soul. Let her discover what lies beneath._"

Inuyasha's hair glowed bright white. Holding it over the orb, the old woman released it. The hair fell. The moment it touched the orb, it slid into the swirling darkness to become a glowing light in the center.

"Look into the orb, child." she whispered, "Fall into the darkness . . ."

Kagome stared at the orb, but upon hearing the priestess' words, she tried to look away, to escape, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. The swirling ebony drew her in, the shadows filling her vision until she couldn't see anything else. The darkness spread through her, drawing her in, pulling her down, drowning her in eternal night.

Oblivion claimed her.


	2. Trapped in the Shadows

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.

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This story is dedicated to my wonderful, talented, awesome editor, Sue Sue Magoo. Thank you for all your help!

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**Trapped in the Shadows **

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Kagome stood in the middle of a wide path leading through a dim forest. It was twilight, the sky stretching above her a swirling blue-grey. Trees extended out on either side of her, huge, sprawling, intimidating. They towered over her, crowding her, reaching like clawed hands towards the dark sky. Darkness crept through their boughs, shadows hiding among the trunks.

Kagome shivered, looking around. It was eerily silent, the darkness pressing on her. Where was she? What was happening?

The trees looked like twisted people convulsing in terrible pain. The shadows seemed alive, creeping through the night. Eyes watched her, leering at her from the darkness. She shivered. What was going on?

A sound in the distance. Laughter.

Kagome whirled, searching for the source of the sound. Turning in circle, she saw nothing but trees and shadows.

The laughter came again, eerie, haunting, echoing through the trees. A child's laughter. The darkness deepened, thickened. Kagome turned in another circle, shuddering at the ghostly laughter. Shadows flickered in the trees, just on the edge of her vision, disappearing whenever she tried to get a glimpse of them. As she completed her circle, she gasped.

A little boy stood in front of her. A little boy holding a ball, watching her with big, golden eyes. His silvery dog ears twitched as he stared at her, long silver hair cascading down his back, a stark contrast to the bright red kimono he wore.

"Inuyasha." she whispered.

He stood in front of her, merely watching her, a small smile on his young face.

What was going on? Was this some kind of illusion?

She smiled encouragingly at the child Inuyasha, happy that she was no longer alone, even if this child couldn't possibly be real. He continued to watch her, unblinking, unmoving. The darkness seemed to press on Kagome's soul, the thick silence on her heart. Where was this place?

Still smiling, she reached out a hand to touch the child. But as soon as she moved her hand, his eyes widened, and he stepped back away from her, clutching his ball.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered, frowning. "What's wrong?"

She reached for him again. He flinched back from her, a small whimper escaping him.

She froze, her hand outstretched. He was afraid of her. Afraid . . . why was he afraid?

"Inuyasha?" she murmured, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He watched her warily, his golden eyes wide and fearful. Why would a child be so afraid of her?

She reached for him again, taking a step forward. He dropped his ball and ran.

"Inuyasha!" she yelled, "Come back!"

She took off after him as he ran away from her, streaking away from her down the path.

The darkness thickened more, shadows creeping like poisonous tendrils out of the trees surrounding them. Twilight darkened into night. The twisted trees mocked her as she ran, their silent laughter grating on her soul. The unseen eyes hunted her, sliding through the night.

Inuyasha did not stop, did not look back, his small legs carrying him further and further away from her. She wanted to cry, to scream. _Don't leave me!_ She tried to run faster, but her legs seemed too heavy to lift.

She gasped as an evanescent figure slowly materialized out of the shadowy darkness ahead of Inuyasha. A woman stood, arms open in welcome, offering her sheltering embrace. Inuyasha reached for her as he ran, his arms outstretched towards her.

The woman's face was in shadow, and her flowing gown looked black in the dim light. Kagome recognized the figure as Inuyasha's mother. She slowed to a walk as Inuyasha neared his mother.

Darkness swirled, twisting, convulsing, converging around Inuyasha's mother. The cloud of darkness gathered around as her as Inuyasha slid to a stop in front of her, suddenly hesitant. The woman's form shifted, the edges of bleeding away into the darkness. Glowing red eyes appeared on her face as she stretched upwards, convulsing. The darkness massed around her, solidifying as a huge form shot up in front of Inuyasha.

The demon howled, a huge clawed hand snapping out to snatch Inuyasha from where he stood, paralyzed with fear.

"No!" Kagome screamed. His mother! It was his mother! Why was this happening?

Inuyasha screamed in pain and terror as the huge demon crushed him in his grip, mocking the comforting hug that the hanyou's mother had offered him. The demon cackled madly, hate glowing in its eyes.

With a vicious howl, the demon hurled Inuyasha into the trees. Kagome flinched at the sounds of breaking branches and crashing underbrush. The huge demon burst apart in a cloud of darkness, the shadowy fog drifting across the forest path.

Kagome stood frozen. What did she do?

She started as the little Inuyasha staggered out of the trees. He walked across the path, his path perpendicular to hers, the darkness swirling about him. Kagome watched in shock as he morphed, stretching upward, like a clock put in fast forward.

He stopped in the middle of the path, now looking about ten years old, golden eyes turning towards her. Golden eyes that were hardened from trials and suffering. Eyes that had lost all trace of innocence or friendliness.

Kagome's heart thumped in her chest. What could have happened to have made his eyes look like that?

Inuyasha turned back to look ahead of him, to look into the dark trees lining the path. He jerked back, raising his hand as if to ward off an invisible blow.

Yells echoed in the distance, angry voices shouting.

Inuyasha jerked again, staggering as if he had been hit. He cried out as a wound opened on his cheek. Kagome ran forward a step. What was happening?

Inuyasha staggered backwards. Kagome saw the ghostly blow strike this time as men appeared out of the darkness around Inuyasha, their yells and shouts growing louder in her ears. They were . . . villagers. Simple villagers.

She watched in shock as one of the villagers smashed his fist into Inuyasha's face, knocking the hanyou back a step.

"You dirty, tainted half-breed!" the man screamed.

Another man swung a club, smashing it into Inuyasha's shoulder, knocking the hanyou off his feet.

"You disgusting freak!"

A third man kicked Inuyasha in the stomach as he struggled to rise.

"You worthless half-demon! You don't deserve to live!"

Kagome watched in horror as Inuyasha took blow after blow, flinching and crying out as the men inflicted wounds on both his body and spirit.

"No!" Kagome screamed, running towards them. "Stop hurting him!"

The continued to beat on the hanyou, who cowered on the ground, curled up in a ball to protect himself. Inuyasha didn't even attempt to defend himself.

"He's just a child!" Kagome screamed, "Stop it!"

She ran faster, but no matter how much she ran, she never got any closer. Inuyasha remained out of her reach, too far for her to get to him.

When she could run no further, she fell to her knees, sobbing. "Inuyasha . . ." she cried, watching the men continue their beating. "Fight back, Inuyasha! Don't let them hurt you!"

No. She knew he wouldn't fight back. He was just a child. He couldn't fight them.

Inuyasha's screams of pain ripped through her, each cruel word from the villagers felt like a knife in her heart.

She leaned forward, squeezing her eyes shut as pain tore through her. Was this what the priestess had meant? This pain tearing through her heart? If it hurt her this much, how much was it hurting Inuyasha? The old woman's trap, the black orb. Was the darkness creating the nightmare to teach her the pain that Inuyasha had suffered through? Was it forcing her to live Inuyasha's past, to endure these illusions that were his memories?

No, she realized, they _weren't_ memories. They were nightmares.

It took her a moment to realize that Inuyasha's screams had stopped, that the men's shouts and cruel words had faded away. She looked up.

Inuyasha stood in front of her, the villagers gone. Blood ran down his face from dozens of cuts, one of his ears torn nearly in half, the left side of his kimono soaked with blood. Kagome was horrified to see the blood-smeared tip of a broken rib poking out his side. His skin was so pale he looked like ghost, his golden eyes so faded they seemed dead. He stood in front of her, not moving, not speaking, his face expressionless.

Kagome slowly rose to her feet, her stomach turning at she took in his condition.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered.

He didn't move, didn't acknowledge her words. He just stared and stared, his eyes empty and unseeing.

"Inuyasha . . ." she whispered, her voice breaking, tears streaming down her face. She reached out a hand to touch his bloody cheek.

He flinched away from her, raising an arm to protect his face.

Kagome's heart shattered at the fear in his eyes.

The air whistled. Inuyasha cried out in pain as the glowing green whip struck him in the arm, knocking him back a step. Kagome whirled to find Sesshomaru standing behind her. He looked right through her, staring with hate-filled eyes at his half brother.

"Inuyasha." He spat the name like a curse.

He stepped forward. Kagome jumped to the side before he walked right into her.

Sesshomaru stood in front of the hanyou, who shrank back from his half-brother's menacing glare.

The hanyou raised a hand imploringly towards his older brother. The gesture was a plea, a cry for help.

"Inuyasha," Sesshomaru snarled coldly, "how dare you! You insolent brat. You are nothing. You are worthless. You are a curse upon this world. You should never have been born. You should never have been given life. I will never understand why father didn't kill you in the cradle."

Each word was like a blow as Inuyasha sank to his knees before his half-brother, head bowed with pain and shame.

"No!" Kagome screamed, "No, that's not true!"

Neither brother acknowledged her, heard her.

Inuyasha whimpered, raising his head, his desperate eyes pleading with his brother for moment of understanding.

"Silence!" Sesshomaru snapped, raising his hand as his fingers glowed green.

The whip struck again and again. The whip whistled as the blood sang, harmonizing in a horrifying song of agony.

"Stop!" Kagome cried, lunging at Sesshomaru. She passed right through him, falling hard on the ground on the other side of the dog demon lord.

"Die, half-breed." Sesshomaru hissed as he brought his whip down one final time.

Inuyasha looked up at his brother with pain-glazed eyes as lay in a pool of his own blood, unwilling or unable to move as glowing green death came for him.

"NO!" Kagome screamed, jumping up to her feet. She didn't even think. She had to protect Inuyasha! She wouldn't let him be killed!

She jumped into the path of the poison whip, putting herself between the brothers.

She screamed as the whip tore into her, ripping through her torso. She dropped to her knees as pain shattered her body, searing through her. Her vision blurred as the agony overwhelmed her.

It was some time before the pain faded and she realized that she had no wounds. She raised her head. Sesshomaru stood before her, eyes unreadable as he watched her. As soon as her eyes fell on him, the dog lord dissolved into the darkness, becoming yet another shadow in the night.

Kagome staggered to her feet. She turned around, eyes searching for Inuyasha. She gasped as she saw him limping away, slowly forcing his battered body down the dark path. The shadows swirled like a tainted, sickly fog, struggling to obscure Inuyasha from view.

"Inuyasha!" she yelled, "Wait!"

Just as none of her words had had any effect before, neither did they this time. Inuyasha continued to stagger away, leaving her alone in the darkness.

Kagome leaped forward, running after him. Again, no matter how fast or how far she ran, she never got any closer. Inuyasha became nothing more than another shadow. She strained to keep her eyes on him, not to lose sight of him.

The laughing trees watched her streak by, the predatory shadows following in her wake. The unseen watchers jeered at her pathetic attempts to reach him through the impenetrable darkness. She couldn't reach him! She couldn't get to him!

Inuyasha disappeared into the gloom, the swirling black fog.

Kagome slowed to a stop, falling to her knees, panting. What was this place? An illusion? A dream? Some strange alternate reality?

She hauled herself to her feet and began walking down the path, hugging herself and shivering as the mutilated trees moaned in the black wind. The sky was black as death, the ground beneath her grey, rotting leaves and dark, mucky dirt. The place reeked of death, the darkness a creeping taint that consumed everything.

Moans of tortured souls followed her as she walked. Screams of pain echoed in the distance. Horror upon horror whispered to her in the darkness. She ignored it all, focusing solely on Inuyasha and her need to find him. That was all she would allow herself to think about, to keep the rising terror inside her from consuming the last of her sanity.

After what seemed like hours, she found him. He sat curled up at the base of a huge, gnarled, old tree, its stark, empty branches twisting their way futilely towards the black sky.

As she cautiously approached, she stifled a gasp. Inuyasha had aged again. Now he looked about her age. He sat slouched against the tree, arms wrapped around himself, knees pulled up to his chest, head bowed.

Kagome slowly approached to kneel beside him. He didn't move, didn't notice her at all.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered.

He either didn't hear, or didn't choose to listen.

"Inuyasha . . ." It came out as sob. She felt like her heart was shattering under the pain of what was happening, under the oppressive weight of the darkness.

His head slowly rose, his eyes turning towards her. She gasped. Hard golden eyes stared at her, his face twisted with pain and bitterness. All she had ever loved about Inuyasha was buried underneath this hatred that poured out of him, at the poisoned bitterness filling his heart, the anger twisting what was left of his soul. And pain. So much pain.

"No," she whispered. She was losing him to the darkness, losing his soul to the shadows. "No, Inuyasha."

His eyes turned away as he raised his hand. Wet blood coated his fingers, running down his hand, black in the darkness.

A self-mocking smile twisted his lips as he watched the blood drip from his fingers. He sneered at his bloodied hand, even as Kagome realized he was sitting in pool of his own blood. Self-loathing convulsed in his eyes.

He laughed, harsh, cold, mocking laughter. He laughed as the blood ran down his hand, poured from his wounds. He laughed at stalking death, laughed at the darkness claiming his soul, crushing his heart.

Kagome felt as though she were dying with him. He didn't care. He didn't care that he was bleeding to death, that he was dying. He welcomed death, welcomed the release from the pain. He laughed at himself as he died, laughed because he had strived so hard to survive, only to die without achieving anything, without anyone at his side. To die all alone.

"You're not alone, Inuyasha!" she cried, reaching a desperate hand towards him, "I'm here with you! You're not alone! Inuyasha!"

His laughter died away but the mocking smile remained, a testament to how he saw his life.

"Inuyasha . . ." she murmured in a heartbroken whisper, tears streaming down her face, pain becoming a permanent part of her heart, suffering a constant companion of her soul.

The wind howled in laughter at their pain, the trees moaned in mockery of their suffering. The shadows swirled, gathering, waiting to suck Inuyasha's soul into the eternal night. The nightmares of the soul, the terrors of the heart, the tortures of life, the darkness of death.

What was this place? Kagome asked herself, the same questions spinning around and around in her head as she watched Inuyasha.

The hanyou suddenly struggled to his feet, his eyes fixed straight ahead.

"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered as she watched him stagger forward, away from the tree. He ignored her, slowly walking forward, heading down the path into the shadows. The black fog swirled around his legs as he walked, the mangled trees watching with unseen eyes, the moans of lost souls mixing with the howls of the icy wind.

Kagome rose to her feet, following Inuyasha. Where was he going? She didn't know how he could walk with his injuries. Reality was altered in this place, wherever it was.

She struggled to catch up with the hanyou as he faded into the shadowy fog, the darkness swirling and gathering around him.

"Inuyasha!" she called, panic leaping into her throat.

The ominous, slithering tendrils of dark taint clawed at her as she ran after him, slowly, ever so slowly, getting closer to him. Darkness massed around Inuyasha, forming a wall in front of him. He stopped, staring into the shadowy barrier. Kagome panted as she ran, the darkness weighing her down, the thick fog like running through water.

Panting, she came up beside Inuyasha. He was staring straight ahead, intently watching something ahead of him. Kagome frowned, turning to stare into the dark wall, wondering what it was that he saw there. She looked back at him. The blood on his face had dried, the wounds scabbed over. His dead golden eyes now glowed with a strange light. Something swirled in his eyes, an illusive emotion that made Kagome's heart swell.

She looked back at the dark wall and gasped, stepping back in shock.

Another Inuyasha stood facing the first. But this Inuyasha, he looked more like the Inuyasha she knew than the one who stood at her side. The new Inuyasha was clean and healthy, unwounded. His eye shone with happiness and contentment, his face filled with amusement and laughter. He stood tall and proud, unburdened by the weight of pain and bitterness. He looked . . . happy. He looked like everything Kagome wanted Inuyasha to be, everything she wanted him to know.

She looked back at the Inuyasha by her side, slouched over in pain, dirty and bloody, face twisted with hate and bitterness. He was the opposite of everything the second Inuyasha represented, everything he was. The first Inuyasha stood, a bloody, miserable wreck, his soul perverted with the pain of his life, his past. The second Inuyasha stood, pure and happy, his soul free from pain and suffering, free to be everything he could be.

Kagome gasped as she recognized the emotion swirling in the golden depths of the first Inuyasha's eyes. Hope. He lifted a bloody hand up, slowly reaching for the Inuyasha standing in front of him. The second Inuyasha also raised a hand, mirroring the other, reaching for his opposite. The light of hope reflected in both their eyes as their fingers touched.

The second Inuyasha shattered. Like a broken mirror, the wall of darkness shattered, the second Inuyasha shattering with it. The pieces of the happy Inuyasha fell to the ground, the dirty black mud tainting what had once been pure.

The first Inuyasha's hand slowly dropped, the hope dying in his eyes, replaced by yet more bitterness. He slowly stepped forward, passing through the dark fog. He walked forward, stepping on the jagged pieces of his reflection that lay in the mud. The shards of broken dreams sliced his feet as he walked over them, leaving bloody streaks across the ground, adding to his pain.

Kagome stood frozen as Inuyasha walked away. The happy Inuyasha, the pure Inuyasha, it had been a reflection. It had been . . . it had been what Inuyasha wanted to be . . . it had been what he desired to become. His dreams. And when he had reached for his dream, when he almost grasped it, it had shattered.

Without thought, she ran forward after. The shards turned to black smoke as she stepped on them, not cutting her as they had cut Inuyasha. Lost dreams could only harm the dreamer. But she felt the pain which each step nonetheless.

She limped after the disappearing hanyou, struggling through the darkness.

"Inuyasha!" she called desperately, "Inuyasha!"

He walked down the path, the path of life. She slowed to a walk ten feet behind him, matching his pace, afraid to get any closer. She was afraid of the pain, the hate, the anger, the bitterness that swirled in a dark cloud around him. She was afraid of what she would see in his eyes. She couldn't face the empty blankness, the hard golden stones that revealed his dead soul.

As the fear consumed her heart, Inuyasha began to draw away from her, though he walked no faster. She fell further and further behind him. She struggled to move faster, but she got no closer. She began to run, but still the distance between them lengthened.

"Inuyasha!" she yelled, tears springing to her eyes, "Inuyasha, don't leave me!"

He disappeared into the murky gloom. She was surrounded by darkness. She couldn't see, could hardly breathe.

She stumbled to halt as her legs gave out. Falling to her knees, she slammed her fists into the black ground.

"Don't leave me!" she sobbed. "Don't leave me in this nightmare!"

She wanted out! She wanted out of this illusion, this dream! She wanted away from the darkness that weighed down her soul, the pain that tore at her heart, the shadows that were coming to trap her forever in the dark night.

The convulsing trees writhed in the darkness to either side. Screams of terror echoed everywhere in the distance. The cold wind moaned through the twisted branches of the trees. The unseen eyes watched her, leering at her tears, mocking her misery. Shadows stalked her, creeping forward on every side, tendrils of the black slinking towards her like some foul poison.

Kagome shivered as the icy wind brushed against her, a perverted caress, tainted fingers sliding over her. She sobbed, kneeling on the polluted ground, the darkness overwhelming her, coming for her soul as misery claimed her heart.

"Let me out!" she screamed at the uncaring sky. "Old woman! Let me go! I want out of this nightmare!"

The darkness stirred restlessly as her pained voice echoed eerily through the mutilated trees. The wind howled louder, its icy fingers running down Kagome's spine.

She shivered, crying harder. She just wanted this horror to be over with, to be free of the darkness. Would this nightmare never end?


	3. Horrors of the Night

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.

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This story is dedicated to my wonderful, talented, awesome editor, Sue Sue Magoo. Thank you for all your help!

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**Horrors of the Night **

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The empty darkness swirled around her, the black fog creeping closer, the endless night consuming all.

She suddenly jerked upright, her eyes falling on the figure standing before her.

Inuyasha watched her with empty golden eyes, devoid of all emotion. He stood, silently unmoving. His clothes were torn and bloody, his pale face smeared with dried blood, his lank silver hair streaked with dirt and blood. Kagome stared back at him, horrified by his lifelessness. She reached up a hand towards him, imploring, terrified at being so alone in this place, so full of pain. There was no one here, no one for her to turn to. She was trapped alone in this unending hell, the pain slowly eating away at her soul.

"Please," she whimpered, "please, let me go. Let me out . . ."

Inuyasha watched her, impassive, his expression unchanging.

"Now ye understand."

Kagome gasped. It was Inuyasha's lips that moved, but it was the old priestess' voice that spoke.

"Now ye understand. But . . . can ye accept what ye now know? Are ye strong enough?"

Kagome couldn't breathe as Inuyasha's vacant eyes watched her.

"Be yer heart strong enough to survive the nightmares of the soul?"

Inuyasha blinked slowly as the emptiness left to his eyes, the hatred and bitterness returning to fill his gaze. Turning on his heel, the hanyou walked away, once again leaving Kagome where she knelt in shock and fear.

"Inuyasha!" she cried, jumping to her feet, "Wait for me!"

She didn't want to be alone in this nightmare. She didn't want him to leave her. But, even more than that, she wanted to find some way to ease the pain in his heart, to take the bitterness from his eyes. She wouldn't give up now! She wouldn't desert him! She didn't really understand the priestess' words, but she knew the key lay in Inuyasha, and she would never escape this place if he left her again.

And another, deeper part of her wouldn't allow Inuyasha to suffer in this eternal night. She had to save him from the darkness. Somehow, she would save him.

She ran after the hanyou, ran and ran, even though she could get no closer than ten feet from him as he continued to walk ahead of her. When she could run no longer, she slowed to a walk, but she didn't stop. She wouldn't. Inuyasha kept walking.

The laughing, mutated trees passed slowly by on either side of her. She could feel the air cool as they walked. Her teeth chattered as she shivered. Inuyasha continued to walk, the black fog twisting around his legs as he moved through it. He seemed unaffected by the cold.

Voices in the distance. Kagome strained her ears towards to the sound that seemed to have no source. Laughter, giggling. The voices of young women.

Inuyasha kept walking. The voices grew louder. Kagome, still shivering, rubbed her arms as she looked around for the source of the noises. All she could see was murky darkness.

The wind howled and the darkness stirred.

Figures began to materialize to the left of Inuyasha. Four young women, all stunningly beautiful, stood in a group just in front of the twisted trees. They were laughing and giggling among themselves, unaware of their surroundings. As Inuyasha came abreast of them, he paused, watching them.

The girls suddenly stopped their playful chatter to stare back at Inuyasha.

"Look," one of them whispered. Their voices carried through the suddenly still forest.

Another of them giggled. "Look at his ears!"

Inuyasha turned towards them, hope flickering in his eyes.

The third girl eyed him up and down. "He looks like he wants to talk to us." She whispered. They all giggled.

Kagome held her breath, wondering what was going on, what would happen.

The fourth girl poked the other in the ribs. "Do you _want_ to talk to him?"

The third girl laughed harshly. "Look at him! He's a freak! I don't want to talk to _that_!"

Inuyasha flinched back, the hope fading from his eyes. Kagome felt like her heart was breaking at the look of pain on his face.

The girls laughed. "What a weirdo!"

"Aw, I think you hurt his feelings!" the young woman's voice rang with fake sympathy and sarcasm. "Poor thing!"

"Who cares if you hurt his feelings? He doesn't matter!"

Tears ran down Kagome's face, pain filled her heart.

"Aw, now you've really hurt his feelings. Why don't you go kiss him better?"

The girls shrieked with laughter.

"Ewww! That's disgusting! Who would want to kiss that _thing_?"

Kagome wanted to go and hit those girls and scream at them for being so cruel, for saying those things to Inuyasha. But the hanyou had already turned away and continued walking down the path. Kagome didn't want to lose sight of him, so she left the girls behind, running after him.

As the young women's mocking laughter faded behind them, a new sound took its place. Sounds that Kagome had always associated with home. A woman's gentle words, a man's deep voice, a child's delighted laughter. The sounds of family and home.

One of Inuyasha's ears perked at the sounds, the torn one hanging at a strange angle, unable to move. The hanyou's steps picked up, an eagerness to his movements. Kagome also sped up, yearning for home, for freedom from the unending darkness.

Figures slowly came into view. The murky shadows parted to reveal three people. A middle-aged, slightly plump woman, her black hair pulled back in a loose bun, her eyes bright with love and laughter, a warm smile on her kind face. An older man, slightly balding, his hair done in a tight topknot, a strong but gentle look about him, a welcoming smile turning up the corners of his mouth, his deep, rich laughter ringing through the dark trees. And standing between them, with each hand holding one of his parents', was a young boy. He stood between his parents, laughing and smiling, happiness and pleasure shining in his eyes, safety surrounding him.

Inuyasha stopped, watching the family, longing evident in every line of his body. The hanyou took a hesitant step towards the family, yearning written on his face, hunger in his eyes.

The family suddenly noticed the hanyou. The child screamed as the woman wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back as the father stepped protectively in front of them, brandishing a club he suddenly held.

Inuyasha stopped in mid-step, watching them warily.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled brokenly, pain building in her chest as she realized what would happen. "Inuyasha, no!"

The man waved his club. "Get away from us, demon!" his voice was cold and hard with hate and fear.

Inuyasha shrunk back but didn't move.

"Get away! We don't want you here!"

The child screamed. The mother turned blazing eyes up to Inuyasha.

"Go away!" she screamed, revulsion twisting her face, "We don't want you here! We don't want _you_!"

The woman's words echoed in the silent night. Kagome cried silently at the pain she knew Inuyasha was feeling. Rejected, again.

"Get lost!" the man shouted, "And never return!"

The hanyou, slouched and dejected, moved on, his feet dragging desolately in the mud. Kagome could feel the sick trees laughing at his pain, the shadows feeding off his misery. And hers too. She has never felt so awful in her life, never felt so full of pain, hopelessness, despair. And anger. Why was the old priestess hurting her like this? But more importantly, why was she hurting Inuyasha like this? It seemed anything was possible in this strange world. Could Inuyasha's spirit have been pulled into the spell because of his hair the woman had used? Was Inuyasha trapped in this spell along with her, suffering through all the physical and emotional beatings?

The walked along the dark path, the shadows following in their wake, the black fog convulsing around them, leeching the last of the heat from them as the air grew yet colder. Kagome could feel her soul slowly dying in this terrible place, this horrible nightmare, this unending night.

Kagome heart sank as she heard more voices in the distance. More voices meant more pain was coming.

Six figures materialized this time. It took Kagome a moment to realize what they were. Demons. Demons of all shapes and sizes. One with long silver hair looked like a dog demon. One had a long brown tail, probably a wolf demon. There was one that looked like a kitsune. The other three also looked human-like, but she didn't know what kind of demons they were.

Inuyasha slowed as he came alongside them, watching them with guarded eyes. The demons finally took notice of the hanyou.

"A dog demon," one said softly.

"A half-dog!" another snarled.

"A half-breed!" the word was laced with venom.

Inuyasha took a step back at the looks of loathing the demons directed at him. Kagome began to cry again. Would this nightmare never end?

"A foul beast!"

"Part _human_!"

"He is tainted!"

"Disgusting! A plague upon our world!"

"Foul, worthless!"

The demons exchanged looks as Inuyasha sagged under the weight of their words.

"Anyone up for a little sport? I'm rather bored myself."

The others nodded.

"He's better off dead anyways. One less half-breed will do the world good."

"An engaging hunt will provide us with some entertainment. Not that a halfling will give us much of a challenge."

The demons laughed cruelly. Kagome couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were going to kill him for _fun_?

"Let's get him! Die half-breed!"

Inuyasha ran.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, taking off after him, hurriedly wiping the tears from her eyes, trying to breathe through the pain constricting her chest. The demons faded behind them. When Kagome thought she couldn't run one more step, Inuyasha began to slow, settling back into the same walk, every line of his posture indicating great pain.

"Oh, Inuyasha." Kagome murmured, feeling the pain in her heart grow even worse. He had been rejected over and over again. No one offered him any comfort, any relief. He faced nothing but hate and rejection on every side, alone in a world where no one would accept him. The pain she felt was nothing compared to what he must feel.

The darkness gathered around them. Thunder suddenly rolled across the black sky, the air growing colder. Shadows crept even closer, the trees moaned their laughter in the harsh wind.

Kagome glanced behind her, horrified to see the path had been absorbed by the dark haze. There was no turning back. She turned back and jerked to a halt.

Inuyasha, still ten feet ahead of her, stood on the edge of a cliff, nothing but darkness, swirling, forbidding ebony, stretching as far as the eye could see. Nothing lay ahead, nothing behind.

Inuyasha stood at the edge of the cliff, staring straight ahead into the dark night.

Kagome was suddenly terrified that he was going to jump. She opened her mouth to scream his name.

"Inuyasha." The woman's voice that spoke was not hers.

Kagome whirled to find none other than Kikyo standing behind her. The priestess stepped forward, coming to stand beside Kagome. Her eyes never left Inuyasha.

The hanyou turned slowly, his eyes coming up to stare at the priestess.

Pain tore through Kagome. He had once again aged. He was now the age that she knew him as, the age he had always looked to her. But his eyes . . .

Nothing. There was nothing in his eyes. The life was gone from him. The soul inside him was nearly dead, his heart already spent. Empty gold watched the two woman, a husk all that was left of the person she loved.

"Inuyasha . . ." she sobbed brokenly. "No, Inuyasha. Don't give in. Don't let the darkness win."

Still, no one responded to her voice. She sank to her knees once again, convulsed with sobs. What was she going to do? She couldn't reach him. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reach him. How could she save him if she couldn't reach out to him?

"Inuyasha." Kikyo hissed a malevolent whisper. Kagome had never heard so much hate put into one word, one name.

Inuyasha didn't move, didn't react. Thunder rolled as the sky opened up above them, releasing a torrent of rain.

Kagome gasped as Kikyo raised a bow and knocked an arrow, pointing it directly at Inuyasha's heart. Kagome struggled to rise, but the darkness pressed her down. She had to stop Kikyo! She was going to kill Inuyasha!

Inuyasha watched, uncaring, as the priestess pulled the arrow back, preparing to fire.

"I hate you, Inuyasha." Kikyo spat. "I hate you. And you deserve to die, you vile beast."

She released the arrow.

"No!" Kagome screamed, leaping to her feet, knowing it was too late.

With a wet thunk, the arrow struck Inuyasha in the chest, throwing him backwards. A vague flicker of sadness was the only thing Kagome saw in his eyes as he disappeared over the edge of the cliff, falling into the unending darkness.

"No . . . Inuyasha . . ." Kagome's broken whisper was drowned out by the howling wind. The rain looked like blood in the darkness.

Kikyo burst apart in a cloud of black smoke, fading into the shadows.

Kagome crawled to the edge of the cliff, staring down into the darkness where Inuyasha had disappeared. She had failed. She hadn't been able to save him. The darkness had claimed him in the end, swallowing the ashes of his heart, the last vestiges of his broken soul. All the suffering for nothing, all the pain for nothing.

She collapsed in the mud, her body wracked with violent sobs. Had Inuyasha's life really been like this? Had he really suffered like this? And now he was dead, and she hadn't been able to save him. She hadn't been strong enough. She hadn't been able to accept what she had seen, what she had experienced, and so she hadn't been able to reach him to save him. She could understand, but she couldn't accept.

She cried into the mud, tears mixing with rain, too cold to shiver anymore as the wind chilled her soaked skin. The thunder boomed, though there was no lightening. There could no light in this dark hell. This pit of misery. This nightmare of the soul.

The eternal night roiled around her, the shadows coming to devour her soul as she lay in the mud, no longer afraid of the darkness around her. This darkness, this was what Inuyasha had lived with. This darkness was a part of who he was. This darkness existed inside his soul, a testament to all he had suffered, all he had survived. She had never, _never_, feared Inuyasha, why should she fear a part of him? She waited for the darkness to come for her, to claim her, to take her to where Inuyasha waited for her. She would join him in the eternal night. She would embrace the nightmare, if only she could see him smile one more time. Just one more time.

She didn't know how long she lay on the wet ground, waiting for the shadows to engulf her. But after some time, she realized that the darkness was not coming closer. She slowly sat up, pushing her dripping hair off her face, and gasped.

The cliff was gone. The path stretched out before her once again. The road continued. She stared, uncomprehending.

Maybe . . . maybe it wasn't over yet . . .

She hauled herself to her feet, forcing her tired body to move. She ran down the road, searching, searching. If the path of life continued, then perhaps the life of the path hadn't ended either. If Inuyasha was still out there, she would find him. She had to. She wouldn't give up, not on Inuyasha.

She ran for hours, for an eternity. And then she found him.

He knelt in small stream that stretched across the path, his back to her. His head was bowed, his shoulders hunched, but he was alive.

Kagome moved slowly forward, afraid that she once again wouldn't be able to get close to him. But to her relief, she was able to come right up beside him. Her heart lifted as she realized that the arrow was gone, though he had yet another bloody wound on his chest. She knelt at his side, watching him.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered.

He didn't react, continuing to stare into the water, his eyes in shadow. She looked into the water.

Pain ripped through her, shattering her from the inside out.

Inuyasha was staring at his wavering reflection in the water. His face was twisted with hate and bitter anger as he looked at himself. The pure self-loathing in his eyes tore at her heart. Tears streamed down her face as the magnitude of what she could now see crushed her soul.

A grunt of mocking laughter escaped Inuyasha as he raised one hand to stare at the demon claws, hatred flaring in his eyes. He raised the other hand, his hand closing around one of the ears that she so loved. With a scream of rage that made her flinch back, he tore his claws through his ear, the sharp nails shredding the tender flesh.

Blood ran into his hair as the hanyou slammed his fists into the stream, destroying the reflection. He bent over the water, pain in his eyes, pain in his heart.

Kagome couldn't move, couldn't react. She bent her head under the weight of agony. The pain in her heart was only matched by the pain in her soul. Darkness converged on the edges of her vision as the black fog closed around them, obscuring everything else from view.

A small, bitter laugh escaped Inuyasha. Kagome gasped at the harsh, cold sound, her head snapping up.

She gasped again as her eyes took in the black hair, the human ears, one shredded, the regular fingernails. He was human. Inuyasha was bent over the water, once again staring at his reflection.

She stared at his human form. Why had he transformed now?

A strange noise escaped Inuyasha. He raised his head to stare into the darkness around them and Kagome was astounded to see a tear slide down his cheek.

He . . . he was crying?

Seeing the darkness closing in on them, Inuyasha's eyes filled with hopelessness as another small sob escaped him.

"Inuyasha . . ." Kagome whispered, not knowing how to comfort him, not knowing if she _could_ comfort him.

Another tear ran down his cheeks. He looked again at his reflection, pain twisting his face, agony darkening his eyes. He began to cry, his body shaking with wracking sobs as he wrapped his arms around himself. Kagome began to cry too, seeing the horrible pain, the utter misery inside him. The unending rejection and harsh self-loathing were destroying him, eating away at his soul. It was the darkness inside him that was the real enemy, not the darkness on the outside. One darkness fueled the other, feeding off each other as they both grew in strength, consuming Inuyasha's soul.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried, shifting closer to him, reaching for him, fully expecting her hand to pass through him as it had every other person in this strange world.

He hand connected with the rough material of his fire-rat kimono, his shoulder solid underneath.

"Inuyasha!" she cried in anguish, throwing herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. She held him as he cried out the pain, the horror. She prayed that it would be enough, that the agony and misery wouldn't be too much.

Inuyasha's sobs slowly died down, until he sat quietly, shivering with cold as the rain poured down on them.

"Inuyasha?" she whispered, letting go of him, moving to kneel in front of him.

His head slowly came up, his eyes locking on hers. Eyes full of unceasing pain, of bitter agony, of relentless rejection of himself. Kagome's heart shattered, her soul falling into despair. He wasn't any better. Nothing could heal the wounds of his heart, the pain in soul.

"Inuyasha . . ." she pleaded, trying to get through him. Though he was looking into her eyes, she wasn't sure he could even see her. All he saw was darkness, all that was in him was darkness. The light was gone from his eyes, the spark of life in him quenched by the pain of his existence.

She never saw where it came from, but he sudden held a knife in one hand. The blade gleamed as he lifted it before him, tightly clenched in his shaking fist.

"Inuyasha!" she screamed, trying to get through to him. "No, Inuyasha!"

He flipped the knife in his hand, turning the point towards himself, leveling the blade with his heart.

"NO!" she screamed. She tried to grab the knife, to pull it away from him, but her hands passed right through his. "Inuyasha!" she sobbed, "Please, no!"

He raised the knife, his eyes locking on hers. Ice ran up her spine, her cries dying on her lips. He wanted it. He wanted to die. He wanted it to end. He was tired of the unending pain, the knowledge that it would never change, never get any better. He longed for the end, longed to give himself to the darkness.

He plunged the knife into his chest.

Kagome screamed as she felt the blade pierce her heart as well.


	4. Light of the Dawn

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga.

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This story is dedicated to my wonderful, talented, awesome editor, Sue Sue Magoo. Thank you for all your help!

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**Light of the Dawn **

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Kagome's scream echoed through the quiet night.

She opened her eyes with a gasp, clutching at the fading pain in her chest. She stared uncomprehending at the rotting wood wall in front of her, the dirt floor under her knees.

She was kneeling in the middle of an abandoned hut. The shrine was gone, no sign of the old priestess and her black orb. Kagome rose shakily to her feet, looking around, trying to understand. Had it all been an illusion? All of it?

She rubbed her chest, the last of the physical pain slowly fading. The emotional pain, though, was still searing through her, all the horrors she had experienced still strong in her memory. Could it really have been nothing more than an illusion? Where had the old woman gone?

Kagome staggered out of the hut in a daze, slowly taking in the night forest, the welcome sound of chirping crickets, the dazzling light of the stars. The forest seemed so alive, even at night, compared to the one in the vision. She looked around, pain throbbing in her heart. She heard a stream gurgling in the distance, and panic flooded her as she remembered the black stream from the nightmare.

Inuyasha! What had happened to Inuyasha? Was he okay?

She remembered the knife plunging into his heart, the blood spurting from the wound. Her knees gave out as she began to cry in panic and terror.

It a long moment before she realized she could hear a voice calling her name. A familiar voice.

"Inuyasha!" she screamed in desperation, struggling to her feet.

"Kagome?" the urgent cry echoed through the trees as she saw a flash of red moving swiftly towards her.

Inuyasha leapt out of the trees, landing lightly at the other end of the clearing. Time seemed to slow as she took him in. He looked just as he always did. No wounds, no blood, no grime. His eyes were alive and full of light, not dead and empty. There was no hatred and bitterness, no self-loathing, only worry and concern for her. Relief washed through her. Was it finally over? Had the nightmare finally ended?

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, his voice gruff with concern. "Kagome, what happened?"

"Inuyasha . . ."

With a cry of relief and pain and longing, she ran across the clearing, throwing herself against his chest. She reached up a shaking hand to touch his cheek, relieved to find his skin warm and solid under her fingers. It was over! It was truly over!

The emotions were too strong, too overwhelming. She broke down in tears.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha gasped, "Kagome, what's wrong?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking her fingers into his soft hair, pressing her face against his shoulder, determined to never let him go again. She sobbed even harder as his arms hesitantly came up to wrap around her.

"Kagome," he whispered, "please tell me what's wrong."

"It was horrible!" she sobbed as the memories of the darkness swirled in her mind. "An old priestess . . . a black crystal ball . . . pulled me into a nightmare . . ."

"A dark priestess?" Inuyasha snarled, furious that someone had hurt her.

"No . . ." Kagome whimpered, trying to stop crying, trying to explain. "But she created some strange illusion . . . an illusion about you." She felt him stiffen. "It was about you . . . and your past . . . it was the most awful thing I've ever experienced . . . so much pain and suffering . . . the darkness."

She tightened her arms around his neck, pressing against him, needing to feel his strength, his life.

"Kagome . . ." he whispered into her hair.

"People kept hurting you, and I couldn't stop them. I couldn't help you . . . I couldn't escape the visions. We were trapped. And the darkness and the pain kept getting worse." She shivered, her heart squeezing painfully. "At the end, right before I woke up, you . . ." she took a breath, forcing herself to face the memory. ". . . You killed yourself. You wanted it to end, you wanted the pain to end."

She was overcome with sobs again as Inuyasha's arms pulled her tighter against him.

"Kagome," he whispered, "it was just a vision, just an illusion."

She nodded into his shoulder, sniffling. "I know . . . but it seemed so real . . . it hurt so much. I tried to stop you, but I couldn't. You couldn't hear me, couldn't see me. I couldn't save you."

Inuyasha's hands came up to grip her shoulders. He pulled her back so she could look up at him. His eyes were swirling gold, intense, serious.

"Kagome, I would never kill myself. I would never do that. You know me. You know that no matter how hard things got, no matter how bad, I would keep fighting until the end. I would never give up."

Her disturbed eyes stared into his. "I know that. I know, but . . . but you were human when you did it."

She saw his eyes widen, saw the flicker of uncertainty.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I wouldn't do something like that. I wouldn't. It was just an illusion." He turned his eyes back to hers. "Kagome, how did the priestess trap you in her visions? You should have known better than that."

Kagome hung her head, not willing to meet his eyes. "She told me . . . she told me that I would never understand you, and that she could help me."

"Understand me?"

Kagome nodded, sniffling, her heart aching. "She said that only with understanding came acceptance, and only with acceptance came . . ." she trailed off, blushing.

"Came what?" Inuyasha asked, confused.

". . . Came . . . love."

Inuyasha didn't move, didn't speak. Kagome, too afraid to look at him, continued in a rush. "You always refused to tell me anything about your past, and I wanted to know, because I thought if I knew I could understand you better. And I wanted to understand you . . ."

"Kagome," Inuyasha's voice was soft, gentle. She looked up into his unreadable golden eyes. "Do you know why I've never told you about my past before? Not in the beginning, but why I haven't told you even now?"

She shook her head, confused.

She gasped as he pulled her against him, crushing her in a fierce embrace.

"Because," he whispered, "because I didn't want to hurt you . . . and I knew that it would hurt you if you knew."

She didn't know how long they stood like that, locked in each other's arms. Eventually, Kagome pushed herself back to look into Inuyasha's eyes, to see the love shining in them. Love for her.

"Inuyasha?" she asked softly as he gently rubbed her arm, his presence, his touch, easing the pain that still swirling inside her. "What was the worst part? The worst part of growing up like that . . . of growing up the way you did?"

She brought her hand up to hold his as his eyes became haunted, as pain flickered in their golden depths.

"Being alone." He whispered. "I was always alone. That was the worst part."

She gave him a watery smile, happiness swelling in her heart as she realized for the first time since she had walked into the shrine that she really truly could help him, could ease the pain in his heart.

"Then the worst is over," she whispered.

Inuyasha frowned, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She smiled again, raising her free hand to touch his cheek, tears shining in her eyes, love shining in her eyes. "I'll never let you be alone again. I promise."

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THE END

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**A/N: **

_:sniffle:_ Awww.

Angst isn't a genre that I normally write, but I did this as a gift to my editor, and her favourite genre is angst, so I gave it a try. Hope you liked it, Susie! But, no matter how much angst I put in a fic, I just can't do sad endings. I just can't. So, it has a happy ending. I hope everyone enjoyed it! And sorry if it made you cry. ;-)

Aside from being an angst fic, this story is all about symbolism and imagery. Each part of Kagome's visions has a deeper meaning, an underlying significance. Very little about her visions was random. I wanted to illustrate to Kagome and readers the pain that exists deep within Inuyasha, the pain that's always there, caused by the wounds of his heart and the scars on his soul. It's not about the surface pain he experiences in the face of trials and adversity. The "nightmares of the soul" is my way of delving into the emotional scars that never heal, not the actual events that created the scars. I wanted to show the world (figuratively speaking) that Inuyasha's pain runs deeper, that some wounds never heal. The nightmares Kagome experiences with Inuyasha aren't actually memories, but a manifestation of the darkness and pain within Inuyasha that will always be there. On the surface, the nightmares are just tests to help Kagome understand Inuyasha better, but it goes so much deeper. Though I'm in no way suggesting that Inuyasha has a soul of darkness, the pain of his past has left its mark on him, and there will always be that aspect of darkness to him, even though he has overcome it in life.

So if you were able to pick up on even half the symbolism in the story, you should be very proud, lol. If anyone has any questions that you would like answered, just leave your email address with your review (if you're not an FFnet member, or your email isn't accessible through the site) and I will respond ASAP.

And a great big thank you to everyone who reviewed! THANK YOU!


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